Proverbs 31 Woman Was Onto Something..

I understand now why the Proverbs 31 woman rose early to prepare for the day and spend time with the Lord. I woke up early this morning and since the kids were already up, I took my Bible and coffee onto the front porch. I sat with my devotionals ad bible in the coolness of the morning. I heard the wind softly blow through the trees, the doves talk to each other, and  our kitties on the front porch purr in contentment. Very few cars were driving down our street so it was just nature and me.

As I sat there feeling close to the Lord and all that He created, several things pressed up my heart to pray for:

Lord, I ask that you make me fruitful today, to get done what needs to be done, to "roll up my sleeves, eager to get started" in the day. Yesterday was my day of rest, nap and all, so now today is time to get some things done. Lord I ask that you be with me through the week at work and at home to make choices that are in line with your Word.Lord I ask for your guidance and favor to be with my husband. Lead him Lord, and help him to grow into the man you have made him to be. Promote him as you see fit, Lord, for you have made us all to succeed.

Lord, I ask for your guidance in making our home a haven, a sanctuary, a place where we love to be. Lord, help me to learn to crave you, and not food or possessions or anything else but you. Yes, I completely understand why the Proverbs 31 rose early to prepare for her day. Because time alone with the Lord is the only way to strengthen you for the day.

Have a wonderful week!!

Awwww relaxation...

Even though I have homework due today and tomorrow that I am working on, I have to say this has been a relaxing weekend so far.  Last night my mom came over to watch the kids while Damon and I went to the country club to have pizza and drinks with some friends for a friend's birthday. We are such an old married couple, we were home before 9 but had a blast while we were there.

Then today we slept in, (well as much as you can with two kids saying Momma...Momma) and then I went to the grocery store and came home. Then I took a nap and now it's time to get back to homework. Tomorrow it's church, and that's all we have planned. This is the first weekend in months that we don't have SOMETHING planned to do and I have to say it's been pretty nice so far.

I think these weekends should be the rule, not the exception, and I know with the holidays coming up it's going to get harder not to have something going on every weekend. But I'd like to try to only have one thing scheduled during a weekend, or nothing at all to allow us as a family to decompress and relax instead of going...going...going. Like right now, the kids are playing in the backyard and I'm sitting inside with a purring kitten next to me. Life is going along pretty good right now.

Link to Women Living Well

I follow this blog and because she can say it more eloquently than I can about what I feel about blogging, I'm just going to link up to her http://goo.gl/gkxbh. Here's to glorifying God with Blogging...

An Awesome Mom

I receive this email in my inbox and thought I would share it with you..


You are an Awesome Mom
Colleen O'Grady
"I want you to know I am proud of you and you are an awesome mom."
Wouldn't it be great if someone told you that every day? How would you feel if you really believed it?
"You are an awesome mom!"
It feels good doesn't it?
I have listened to moms for over 20 years and I have never heard a mom say, "I am a great mom and I am really proud of myself."
I hear Moms say, "no one appreciates me or all I do for my family."
Your husband or kids may answer back, "Yes I do," but you don't believe them because they have no idea how much you do. And for sure they don't know what's in your heart, and how much you worry and pray for your kids.
But if a friend says, "You are a great mom," what do you do with that? Can you receive the compliment and believe it. Most mothers slough it off when it is given. You think, "She has no idea".
Why is that?
I don't think you appreciate yourself and all you do.
Deep down you think you're not doing a good job. Being a mother is hard. It's easy to doubt your decisions around parenting. And you have an unrealistic job description placed on you by the culture.
Mother's are supposed to be perfect. Right?
We are supposed to have perfect children, perfect house, perfect spouse, and have a perfect body.
Perfect is not happening! You can't be perfect in all these areas at the same time. Believe me we all try. You wear yourself out running here and there, morning to night and at the end of the day you are convinced you are the biggest loser. And not in the good (Biggest Losers TV show) way.
The message "A great mom is a perfect mom" you inherited from the culture. I call this a Powerless Parenting Message. Because when you believe this you feel powerless and are totally set up to feel like a failure.
You may have had a good day with your daughter, your house is clean, but if you've gained 2 pounds and your whole day is ruined.
This message robs you of ever celebrating what you do accomplish. Having a good day with your daughter and a partially clean house is worth celebrating.
Now this gets amplified if you have a hot headed adolescent daughter who is not getting her way. Your daughter is skilled with psychological weapons and knows how to shoot her arrow into your vulnerability.
She speaks out your worst fear. "You are a terrible mother."
This can knock the wind out of you. You feel like you're the witch in the wizard of oz. Your daughter has just thrown a bucket of water on you and all you can say is, "I'm melting".
Your power and confidence will melt when you believe her words. Combine this with wanting to be the perfect mother, and you will shrink and disappear into the black hole of Mother Shame.
The truth is you are usually doing your job when those comments fly at you. My guess is you just told your daughter, "No, you can't stay out till 2am." "No, you can't spend the night at your boyfriend's house." "No, you can't get a tattoo of your boyfriend's name on your chest."
You are doing a great job when you set a boundary with your daughter. Just know when your daughter says "You are a terrible mother," it really means "I am angry at you because you are not giving me what I want".
A Great Mom does not equal a perfect mom.
A Great Mom does not equal pleasing everyone at all times.
We need a new definition of a Great Mom.
1. Accepts her imperfections.
A Great Mom...

• Knows the goal is not to be perfect.
• Is kind to herself and therefore can be kind to others.
• Is self aware and knows where she has crossed the line.
• Admits her mistakes and says she is sorry.
• Doesn't give up and wants to grow.

2. Strives to do her best.

• Focuses on learning from her mistakes.
• Wants to improve herself and her parenting.
• Willing to change when things aren't working.
• Is teachable and open to learning new approaches.
• Keeps trying and starts again.

3. Knows her limitations and receives help.

• Knows she needs to take care of herself which means getting enough physical and emotional rest.
• Takes time to enjoy her life and her daughter.
• Knows there is way too much and she needs help.
• Receives help and builds a team of support around her and her daughter.
• Leans on God and prayer for help.

4. Accepts her kids imperfections

• Knows the goal for her kids is not perfection but healthy striving.
• Has hope for her kids and encourages them.
• Knows they can learn from their mistakes and take responsibility and develop empathy.
• Shows her kids by example how to strive for the best and learn from your mistakes.

5. Remembers the important things

• Loves her kids and remembers they are a gift.
• Remembers it's not going to be perfect 24/7.
• Aware of opportunities to hang out and enjoy her kids.
• Teaches them compassion and forgiveness.
• Sets boundaries and give consequences without shame.
• Sees the God given potential in her children.

Believe this new definition.
You are an awesome mom!






Colleen O'Grady is a licensed marriage and family therapist, life coach, speaker, writer, and a mother of a teenage daughter. She specializes in helping moms of teenage daughters. Colleen rejects the message, "of just making it through the teenage years." She believes the teenage years can be the most gratifying and enjoyable years with your daughter. Yes there are challenges but when you understand how teenage girls are wired you can avoid countless hours of drama and needless suffering. Sign up for Colleen's FRE*E subscription to the Power Your Parenting E-zine to get practical tips and encouragement.
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